He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
