I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
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Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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