I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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