The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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