Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
