I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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