god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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