there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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