Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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