gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
