dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
