Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
