THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
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