It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Sorry about my life...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize