Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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