i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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