so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
