he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Mom said you looked used
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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