i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
