just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm eating all of the evidence.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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