Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
