I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
This house was built for laser tag.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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