she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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