it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
