I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
