my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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