I bet he comes in French.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
