she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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