I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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