Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
