can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
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