He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
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He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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