i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
