Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
