This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
