9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
