I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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