You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
