she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
