i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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