fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
