I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
