in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
