how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
