there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
accomplished twins. life is a go
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
