Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
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I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
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I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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