ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize