these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
