hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
