Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you traded sex for a burrito?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
we should paint friendship bongs
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
