I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
