do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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