Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
