the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I have fence marks all over my body
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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