You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Randomize
