Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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