Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
