you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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