he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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