She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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