So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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