Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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