I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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