At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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